Marvelous Misadventure

Don't Push Jeffrey's Buttons!

2010-11-24T21:40:00.004-05:00

I was hanging out with my five-year-old nephew Jeffrey, and he told me that earlier he had been playing inside a laundry basket.
"I pretended there were four buttons in there," He said.
"What were the buttons?" I asked.
"There was a bright button... a poop button... a kill button.... and a Christmas button!" He replied.
"Well what do the buttons do?" I asked.
And then he just looked at me as if I were stupid.

Shark Teeth

2010-10-03T00:39:00.003-04:00

"I need to brush my teeth so they don't get pointy like shark teeth."
-Five-year-old nephew

Tooth Fairy

2010-09-17T23:27:00.003-04:00

My sister and father told my nephew about the Tooth Fairy.
And he said "WHAT!?! SHE COMES INTO MY ROOM?!?"
He was completely freaked out. So my sister told him that she told the Tooth Fairy to leave his money under grandma's pillow instead. Jeffrey was relieved.

Jeffrey Is 'Always' Right

2010-09-11T22:33:00.004-04:00

This is how our car ride went.
"Yeah, you're right." I replied to something.
"Yeah...I'm always right!" My five-year-old nephew said.
"Well...No one is always right."
"Well I am always right."
"You're not right, right now."
"Yes I am. Is that a sock?"
"No it's a glove."
"No it's not a glove, it LOOKS LIKE A SOCK!"
"No it's a glove so you're wrong."
"No I'm always right."
So I unfolded the glove so he could see that he was wrong. And he said.
"Well I was right, because it did LOOK LIKE A SOCK."

MAIL!!!!!!! 2

2010-09-11T00:37:00.004-04:00

My nephew drew me a picture, wrote Aunt Tina on the back, and dropped it out of the mail slot in the front door of his house, from the inside of the house. My mail was floating around outside until my sister found it. I guess his Pre-K field trip to the post office wasn't too informative about the actual process of mail. ;)

Lollipops Are for Suckers

2010-09-11T00:26:00.003-04:00

My brother-in-law was trying to teach his daughter about consequences. So my husband told her to tell her dad that consequences are for suckers. After practicing "Consequences are for suckers" on the ride home, when she finally got home she told her dad, "Consequences are for lollipops!"

Yellow Light!

2010-09-11T00:23:00.002-04:00

"Green light means Go. Red light means Stop. Yellow light means Go Faster!" -Nora (2-years-old)

Phillip

2010-09-11T00:07:00.002-04:00

This photo pretty much tells you everything you need to know about my nephew Phillip.

4-6 Youth Soccer

2010-09-11T00:00:00.003-04:00

5-year-olds playing soccer = comedy. A lot of cartwheel attempts, throwing grass, hugs, waving to parents as the ball rolls by, drinking capri sun while supposed to be on the field, holding hands, and heads getting stuck in the net.

Hotdog, hotdog, hot diggity dog!

2010-07-27T20:21:00.003-04:00

Today I went out to eat with my four-year-old nephew and this was our conversation.
"Hey Aunt Tina, I gotta tell you something."
"What?" I asked.
"I gotta tell you at your home." He replied.
"What is it?" I asked again.
"It's about hotdogs." He answered.
"What about hotdogs? I asked.
"It's about another name for them." He said.
I laughed and said, "You mean wieners?"
"YEAH! Hotdogs are made out of wieners!" He yelled.
I laughed again and said "Hotdogs aren't made out of wieners they're just called wieners."

MAIL!!!

2010-03-14T21:40:00.004-04:00

I mailed my four year old nephew a letter and photo the other day. When he received it, he called me to say thank you and said, "You gotta come over to see it." I don't know if he realizes that I saw it because I mailed it.

Author of an Art Book

2010-01-21T10:47:00.006-05:00

My neice, in kindergarten at the time, came over to my house and saw one of my paintings.
"Wow, did you paint that?" she asked.
"Yes I did." I replied.
"It's great! I wish I could do art like you. You could be the author of an art book!"

Dirty Mouth? Clean it up...

2010-01-20T15:16:00.004-05:00

For three days straight my nephew was called dirty at Pre-K.
Day 1: He ignored it.
Day 2: A student in the class defended him.
Day 3: He said, "You're dirty around the mouth!"
I thought this was hilarious.

D FENCE!

2009-12-10T00:26:00.006-05:00

Today the seventh grade students I had all finished their project early. As a filler I had them create games out of boxes a little bigger than 1x1x1, provided by my dad, a box company owner. Bowling with Defense was created. All you need is a ledge, boxes, and some masking tape. We had a fun time and I became the COOLEST ART SUB EVER!

Spiderman, Spiderman...

2009-12-09T17:14:00.005-05:00

I'm usually a better substitute then the list below makes me look, but here is a list of 8 things that my eighth grade boy students did today:
1. Tried to used a hot glue gun as a weapon
2. Tried to used a blow dryer as a weapon to hold someone hostage
3. Called me a butt
4. Put a ball of masking tape in another students hair
5. Smacked each other with rulers
6. Threw Christmas ornaments at each other
7. Kept lifting up the blade on the paper cutter... BIG NO, NO!
8. And lastly, my favorite... Wrapped masking-tape around his hands and tried to climb the wall imitating Spiderman

I Googled Google!

2009-12-09T17:11:00.003-05:00

"Did you know that if you google google, your computer will explode?" -Sixth grade student

Kiss on the Lips?

2009-11-19T12:09:00.004-05:00

"How 'bout a kiss on the lips?" -5 year old boy.

I should have said something like this, " No kisses are for family."

I did say, "Ummmmmm, I have a cold sore on my lips, no kisses."

I'm an idiot!

Fashion No, No!

2009-11-08T17:10:00.005-05:00

"That blue necklace doesn't match your black shirt." -8th grade boy
"One, it's a bluish-gray so it works. Two I don't restrict myself to fashion guidelines." -me

Church for Everyone.

2009-11-08T16:59:00.005-05:00

"There's churches for Christians, churches for atheists, and even for protagonists." -8th grade student 1
"What's a protagonist?" -8th grade student 2
"A person who doesn't do anything until the last minute." -8th grade student 1
"Ohhhhhhh." -8th grade student 2

Defacing of Mural.

2009-10-22T15:38:00.005-04:00

Two school years ago I was student teaching and created a mural with my sixth grade art club. It came out really good and actually inspired my cooperating art teacher to keep going with the tree theme and now the hallway looks like a forest with five or six trees in it. Each one's style is different and has a uplifting quote that goes along with the mural. Anyways.. I've been subbing at the school I student taught in for the last week and have walked by the mural a couple times per day. Today I was walking passed it to leave at the end of the day and something caught my eye... a sharpie marker drawing of a penis right in the middle of the tree trunk! Awesome kid, awesome. What a butt head!

These Kids Are Making Me Sick...Literally.

2009-10-21T17:02:00.009-04:00

"You guys are making me sick!" I said.
"That's not really a nice thing to say," said a student.
"No... You are LITERALLY making me sick," I said.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," the student said.

FOUR!

2009-10-18T22:50:00.003-04:00

This picture illustrates what happened last week in a fifth grade classroom.

A boy threw a golf ball at a girls head.

Stevie Nicks!

2009-10-18T21:51:00.003-04:00

"Stevie Nicks!" Shouted a forth grade boy to another forth grade boy.
"I'm not Stevie Nicks, you are!" Said the other boy.
"Why are you calling each other Stevie Nicks?" I asked.
"Because he sounds like Stevie Nicks." Said the boy.
"She 'Stevie Nicks' has a good voice." I said.
"Stevie Nicks is a girl?" Asked a student.
"Hahahaha you sound like a girl." Said the boy.

Who Knew Bees Wax Could Be(e) So Funny?

2009-10-18T21:49:00.003-04:00

Last school year I had a long term art teaching job. I was teaching a kindergarten class when a student needed to mind his own business.
"Mind your own Bees wax!" I said joking around.
Then the whole class started laughing hysterically.
"BEES WAX! Hahaha!"
For the rest of class all I heard was the phrase, 'mind your own bees wax,' followed by little giggles.
I love sharing silly sayings with kids for the first time.

Grandma Jaye

2009-10-18T21:45:00.003-04:00

"Yeah my grandma Jaye is cool," said a kindergarten student.
"Hey that's my name!" said a student.
"Your name is grandma Jaye?" asked the kindergarten student.

Donald Trump all up on me!

2009-10-18T21:39:00.003-04:00

“Mrs. T said I could come to art and catch up on my two projects,” said the second grade student.
“Not today because I don’t know what or where your projects are,” I said.
“Well Mrs. T said and she’s married to the principal and they’re both gonna be real mad,” said the student.
“Well I’ll talk to Mrs. T later,” I said.
“ NO! I’m supposed to do art today! The principal is gonna be mad! YOU’RE GONNA BE FIRED… and never be able to come here again! You’ll never be able to see me! YOU’RE GONNA BE FIRED!” Yelled the student.

Well the classroom teacher came to pick up the students from art and asked the student what Mrs. T really said, which was he couldn’t come to art later because there was a substitute.
…And Mrs. T and the Principal aren’t even married.

I Didn't Say...

2009-10-18T21:22:00.004-04:00

"Did you say a bad word?" I asked.
"I didn't say S@*T," said the kindergarten student.

Warm and Fuzzy

2009-10-17T03:16:00.007-04:00

Yesterday a kindergarten student put her hand on my arm, smiled, and said "You're so cute."